Entry 5
April has brought with it, gusts of wind, pollen, sudden drops in temperature, and acute nausea. The energy in my body feels chaotic, sticky, unpredictable, inconsistent, damp, weighted, curious, anxious. Yesterday, I threatened to kms over text to my bf after filing my taxes but, today I spent the day running errands, eating protein, climbing in the gym, doing dishes, being frustrated every time I passed the BGE construction in front of my house and, performing self care. When I need a maximum strength wellness dose, I resort to cupping my entire back and shoulders, skincare, cherry juice with magnesium and bee pollen, rose tea, Polish skin tea, getting high and standing in my robe and admiring my tiny apartment, red light, moxa, stretching in bed, heating pad, filtered water. It all feels very medical and necessary to me.
I’m alone in a field with soft green grass, and there isn’t a cloud in the sky, and i’m laying naked in the sun, drunk and high and tripping, and there’s a flowing river nearby, that I can wade in and drink from, and there’s snow capped mountains in the distance, and a warm spring that I can relax in, and I have a horse to ride, and a dog for good company, and a soft patch of wild flowers to sleep on, under the stars, with a big full moon, and there are no bears or men, there is no hunger though fresh fruit may be abundant, there is no money, I own nothing, I have no memories, no prospects, and the temperature is always just right, the wind is a gentle breeze, books may also be available.
Tonight I had buckwheat soba noodles in lemongrass, ginger bone broth, with green onion, sesame, and black vinegar. I popped three steamed pork and ginger dumplings in it too. Sour foods, ferments, onion, collagen, eggs, honey, yams may be eaten this time of year.
Stretching does wonders.
